A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Take wrong turns

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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A shark ate your mom

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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knock knock whose there? i don't know...

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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