You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Skinny people fart less.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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