What did one Dentist say to the other? You are fat.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What's worse than this That :(

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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