There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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