A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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