A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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