A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

being sober in a bar fight

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops