why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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