A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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YOU

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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