What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops