A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +38

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I went to school. Then I came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops