Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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Once, I went to Peru.

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Chlamydia

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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A fat guy!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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