A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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The holocaust

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops