ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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YOU

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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