A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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