Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

thumb_up thumb_down -22

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock whose there? i don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops