What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Caolan and Eamon

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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