What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Brain fart

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops