knock knock Dave's not here.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Your big dick.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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I don't get it

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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star wars kid

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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