Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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