There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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learn. advance!

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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