What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

Read a Book.

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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