What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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