What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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