How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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