How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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