Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Death by kayak

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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