What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops