What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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Womens rights

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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