the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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