q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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