Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

Cripples are lame.

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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