What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops