What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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