Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops