PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

24

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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