What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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