Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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the economy.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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