A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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