How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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I enjoy Popcorn

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops