Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops