A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops