Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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