Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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