A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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