Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

hi michael

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...