Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

Women's rights.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Badabing.

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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