Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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What is the the mistake..... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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