Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

Knock Knock No solicitors

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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