Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Antoni Wilkinsin

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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