i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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