Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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