Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

batman farted so hes retarded

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

Your sex life.

Hi

If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

How did the black person die? Of old age

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...